The Best Hard Rock & Heavy Metal Albums of All Time
Reviewed. Rated. Ranked.
250 - 201
225. Nuclear Assault - Live At The Hammersmith Odeon (1995)
Mark: It was hard to conceive of an album beyond the utterly bizarre that would challenge Earth Crisis for the last spot on this list, yet Nuclear Assault manage it. It’s a shame, because under the aimless cacophony there are some potentially killer riffs.
Richard:
Steve:
Top Rated Tracks: Critical Mass, Torture Tactics, Trail of Tears
Enter Sadmen Rating: 4.07619
224. Earth Crisis - Destroy The Machines (1995)
Mark: An unholy mess suffocated by the unintelligible vocal disgorgement of ‘vocalist’ Karl Buechner. Somewhere in here are some decent tunes trying to get out, but I defy you to summon the patience necessary to unearth them.
Richard: The most challenging listen yet on the podcast. Some reasonable riffs but the stream of random consciousness coming from Buechner's mouth leaves you cold - or ROFL.
Steve: Straight edge metalcore from a band who had lots to say and made sure they said it all. Screamer Karl Buechner's packed an hour's worth of socio-political diatribe into half an hour of music so it's an effort just keeping up. Under A for Acquired taste, methinks.
Top Rated Tracks: The Wrath of Insanity, Inherit the Wasteland, Forced March
Enter Sadmen Rating: 5.77667
223. Gorky Park - Gorky Park (1989)
Mark: Given the red carpet treatment thanks to Jon Bon Jovi’s paternalistic interest, and benefiting from the label’s desire to make the band the first breakout Soviet rock act, Gorky Park is nevertheless devoid of the songs needed to match the hype.
Richard: A classic example of right band, right place, right time. The arrival of Glasnost and messers Bongiovi and Sambora meant a below average Soviet band reached heights they couldn't believe.
Steve: East should have met west in a cocktail of post-glasnost originality, but instead sheepishly strove to become nothing more than a Bon Jovi tribute act. And not a particularly good one at that.
Top Rated Tracks: Bang, Try to Find Me, Hit Me With the News
Enter Sadmen Rating: 5.83000
222. Raven - Rock Until You Drop (1981)
Mark: Raven evolved into a decent band, but limited resources from then-brand new indie label Neat fail to bring order to the organised banging and clanging. That said, there are moments of insight into the ability that lay beyond this debut effort.
Richard: A below average debut. Some interesting riffs in parts, but, whilst played at a fast tempo, the songwriting and singing on this album struggle to get out of second gear.
Steve: High-energy, mildly amusing, punk-infused rock from a band apparently seen as something quite significant back in the day though I can't for the life of me see why. So throwaway I can't actually remember when or where I chucked it.
Top Rated Tracks: Hard Ride, Tyrant of the Airways, For the Future
Enter Sadmen Rating: 5.91333
221. Yes - Fragile (1971)
Mark: Self-indulgent nonsense, for the most part. There’s no doubting the musical technicality, but look up ‘pretentious prog’ in the dictionary, you’ll find an image of this album there.
Richard: Incredibly ambitious 4th outing from Yes, showing even more ability and complexity. The jigsaw writing approach leads to some disjointed songs and at times a challenging listen, but perseverance is rewarded with some sublime songs.
Steve: Early hints from the opener Roundabout that Yes might have taken a left into the mainstream are soon stalled. The innovation, imagination, irritation flow in equal frustrating and messy measure. Classic prog, then.
Top Rated Tracks: Roundabout, Heart of the Sunrise, South Side of the Sky
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.02778
220. Bad Steve - Killing The Night (1985)
Mark: A true one hit wonder, though describing Killing The Night as a 'hit' stretches the elastic. Like the curate's egg, it's good in parts - but not sufficiently so to gatecrash the top of the Hall of Fame.
Richard: An absolute blast to listen to - thoroughly enjoyable, alhough the songwriting and playing isn't up to scratch in parts.
Steve: A hard-rocking German quintet bring a smile to the face - and it’s hard to keep a straight face confronted with this throwaway slab of metal that seeks inspiration down all the obvious cliché-sated avenues. A giggle nonetheless.
Top Rated Tracks: Across the Rainbow, Running to You, Leather Girl
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.07407
219. Kyuss - Blues For The Red Sun (1992)
Mark: Two opening tracks make for a really promising start but give way quickly to a succession of average songs. It's never going to offend, but sadly it also rarely manages to excite, and so inspires the greatest enemy of any rock band - indifference.
Richard: An experimental album, but with limitations and challenges that would have benefited from more guidance in the studio. Green Machine is a great track but there are also some howlers.
Steve: Acid rock, stoner rock, desert rock, call Kyuss what you will; what I can call BFTRS is a mess, though diehards probably regard that as a badge of honour rather than an insult.
Top Rated Tracks: Green Machine, Thumb, Writhe
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.12727
218. Tool - Undertow (1993)
Mark: No one should have to work this hard to enjoy an album. There's no doubting the technical ability of the musicianship, but as a whole this is a collection of Pearl Jam soundalike songs that are big on self-indulgence and short on accessibility. If that's your thing, you'll love it.
Richard: Tool are a unique band and this is an album that needs time - it's not something to have on in the background! Very complex and layered, with some hits and misses and one abysmal track. A shame, since other tracks like Sober are great.
Steve: To say Tool’s debut album was ruined by the lamentable closing track would be to suggest the rest of the album was in some way brilliant. Which it isn’t.
Top Rated Tracks: Sober, Swamp Song, Intolerance
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.14333
217. Yngwie J. Malmsteen’s Rising Force - Odyssey (1987)
Mark: 36% of this self-indulgent, overblown, round-the-world ego trip is a guitar solo. Of the rest, most is lazy, derivative and entirely predictable. Two songs just about rescue an execrable album that should otherwise have been strangled at birth.
Richard: The involvement of Joe Lynn Turner and push for a more commercial sound fracilitated a warm critical reception for the album. Riot in the Dungeons and Rising Force stand out, but some weaker moments detract.
Steve: YJM can play a guitar. He can play it fast and he can play it, er, faster. And it’s his band so he plays it a lot. Probably more than he should unless he intended to wind up with what transpired, a largely aimless vanity project.
Top Rated Tracks: Crystal Ball, Heaven Tonight, Riot in the Dungeons
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.14667
216. Phenomena - Phenomena (1985)
Mark: A self-proclaimed brand long before the line-up was confirmed or a note written, this is at best patchy and at worst turgid. A procession of anaemic compositions that lack bite, originality or purpose and are forgotten the moment they end.
Richard:
Steve:
Top Rated Tracks: Kiss of Fire, Twilight Zone, Believe
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.21111
215. Andy Taylor - Thunder (1987)
Mark: His time with The Powerstation proved there was more to Andy Taylor than just Duran Duran. In his first solo outing, he joins up with former Sex Pistol Steve Jones to serve up a more than satisfying collection of catchy AOR/melodic rock tunes.
Richard:
Steve:
Top Rated Tracks: I Might Lie, Bringin’ Me Down, Don’t Let Me Die Young
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.25185
214. Grave Digger - War Games (1986)
Mark: Innovation is in short supply here, but if you’re hankering after some fun German power metal that you can bang your head to, and you don’t mind the hits being strafed by more than its fair share of misses, then this’ll do you.
Richard: Some high paced explosive songs and great riifs - but the songwriting and vocals, particularly in the second half, restrict War Games to being just another mediocre rock album.
Steve: Google translate wasn't invented when Grave Digger produced the third of their 900 or so albums, which is as well 'cos it gives us a laugh. Beyond some cabaret and the inevitably awful Teutonic ballad, there's power to be enjoyed.
Top Rated Tracks: Heaven Can Wait, Keep On Rockin’, Playin’ Fools
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.29667
213. Warfare - Hammer Horror (1990)
Mark: No one will ever accuse Warfare of being purveyors of high art, even in the generally low-fi world of hard rock. But if you’re after a concept album full of passion for its theme, a few laughs and some nice high points you could do worse.
Richard: An amusing hard rock + punk + OMD + Metallica + Gerry Rafferty celebration of old-school British horror that falls into the ‘so bad, it's (very nearly) good’ category.
Steve: No. Just no. A paean to a cult film house, I get, but musically? I'm really none the wiser.
Top Rated Tracks: Prince of Darkness, Tales of the Gothic Genre, Baron Frankenstein
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.43333
212. The Wildhearts - Earth Vs. The Wildhearts (1993)
Mark: There is nothing here that Hanoi Rocks weren’t doing a whole lot better a decade earlier. Worse, it bears the cadaverous stench of mid-90s Britpop. Avoid.
Richard: A Marmite album. And the fact that Ginger can't sing makes it worse. Attitude trumps talent here.
Steve: A decent mix of old-school and soon-to-arrive punk, replete with bad singing and odd segues. Ginger's an acquired taste, so too this album but there are a few metal-tinged riffs to provide splashes of enjoyment.
Top Rated Tracks: TV Tan, Love You ‘Til I Don’t, Suckerpunch
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.44242
211. Mötley Crüe - Girls Girls Girls (1987)
Mark: The Crüe were counting the money all the way to the bank with this multi-platinum release, so won’t care that, artistically speaking, it also marks the moment the band swapped the Jack Daniel’s for Kool-Aid.
Richard: Wild Side is brilliant, Dancing on Glass is great. Much of the rest is just downright lazy.
Steve: The only way was down after Wild Side and given that the Crüe never did anything by half, the crash and burn past track one is a pretty spectacular descent.
Top Rated Tracks: Wild Side, Dancing on Glass, Sumthin’ for Nuthin’
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.47333
210. The Sweet - Desolation Boulevard (1974)
Mark: Before The Sweet squared up to the likes of Mud and Wizzard over chart bragging rights they were a decent rock band that packed a hefty punch. Here, at their artistic rather than commercial zenith, you sense how good they might have been.
Richard:
Steve:
Top Rated Tracks: Fox on the Run, The Six Teens, Solid Gold Brass
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.50000
209. Alice Cooper - Billion Dollar Babies (1973)
Mark: The frightmare was gathering pace in ‘73 after the success of predecessor School’s Out. But although … Babies is lauded by critics as the band’s seminal release, it lacks consistency and bite, too often sacrificing real substance for pantomime dame style.
Richard:
Steve:
Top Rated Tracks: Generation Landslide, Raped and Freezin’, Billion Dollar Babies
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.51667
208. Uriah Heep - Look At Yourself (1971)
Mark: An album that pinballs between moments of absolute genius and episodes of tumbleweed-strewn drift. Yet in those too-few peaks there is clear evidence of the talent that made them favourite sons of 1970s Brit prog.
Richard: Exquisitely composed and layered songs and lots of ooomph. Cracking riffs; thundering organs; driving drums; and, on top of that, Byron's soaring voice.
Steve: The album that inspired Bulgarians to head for the beach but didn't inspire me to do anything other than take it off the turntable. Like so much '71 prog-rock-fusion-whatever, this needs plenty of attention.
Top Rated Tracks: Look At Yourself, Tears in My Eyes, Love Machine
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.55714
207. Faster Pussycat - Faster Pussycat (1989)
Mark: They had the looks, they had the guitars, they had the songs. What they didn’t have in Taime Downe was a singer with the chops to let the band grow its sound beyond the novelty equivalent of a booze-soaked titty bar at three in the morning.
Richard: Poor songwriting and painful vocals from Downe in this debut from another wannabe glam band demonstrates just how far ahead of the rest of the pack G n’ R and Crüe were in the late 80s.
Steve: An album that kicks in sleazily enough soon grates, chiefly courtesy of Taime Downe's jarring vocals. There were many better examples of Sunset Strip hedonism.
Top Rated Tracks: Don’t Change That Song, No Room for Emotion, Smash Alley
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.56333
206. Spider - Rock ‘N’ Roll Gypsies (1982)
Mark: Dismissed as Status Quo soundalikes (largely because they were Status Quo soundalikes), Spider were that honest-to-goodness hard working, hard-touring rock band that had fun on the road and made sure you did, too. And if you like 12-bar boogie, this’ll do the same.
Richard: Good fun but a lot of basic fare from Status Quo meets the Glitter Band meets Showaddywaddy.
Steve: Merseyside's Status Quo pretty much sums this lot up. The album's fun, though not as much as the backstory which makes them endearing rather than essential.
Top Rated Tracks: Lady (I’m Dyin’ For You), A.W.O.L., What You’re Doin’ to Me
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.56667
205. White Lion - Fight To Survive (1985)
Mark: An insipid collection of melodic rock ephemera that, while being a bit more interesting and enjoyable than the commercially cynical but much more successful follow-up Pride, struggles to raise the pulse beyond a couple of standout moments.
Richard:
Steve:
Top Rated Tracks: Broken Heart, All the Fallen Men, Fight to Survive
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.62333
204. Britny Fox - Britny Fox (1988)
Mark: Hair metal was pretty much doomed long before this debut hit the racks, and what we have here are 3 really infectiously catchy songs, 2 absolute horror shows and 1 vocalist whose style is already tiresome by the time we get to track 4.
Richard: A very inconsistent offering from the late 80s glamsters. Really good fare such as Long Way to Love and Kick ‘n’ Fight are let down by a poor Slade cover and the awful Save the Weak.
Steve: No amount of hair can obscure the fact that Dizzy Dean Davidson's vocals are an absolute pain in the arse. That said the Fox's debut is studded with rock gems but also one of the most godawful mistakes in recording history.
Top Rated Tracks: Kick ‘n’ Fight, Girlschool, Rock Revolution
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.63667
203. Mercyful Fate - Melissa (1983)
Mark: Danish occultists Mercyful Fate brought black metal to the (presumably black) masses with this 1983 debut. Poor production hampers often catchy curios that will put the band into context, if not quite into the coven, for those who weren't there the first time around.
Richard: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That's about it really. And not in a good way. Oh. Wait. One more thing. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Steve: Great riffs, power chords, some wonderful song construction, but let’s not sidestep the elephant in the room. You either like King Diamond’s preposterous vocal assault or you don’t, and that will determine whether you want to take out Melissa or not.
Top Rated Tracks: Curse of the Pharoahs, Evil, Into the Coven
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.67143
202. Vixen - Vixen (1988)
Mark: Two monster songs, but an album that feels constrained by overcrowded production and never quite manages to be more than the sum of its component parts
Richard: Enjoyable but a bit too easy on the ear. The drive to make Vixen a commercial success through different writers and producers impacted too much on the qualities they had as singers and musicians.
Steve: They looked good in leather and lace, knew how to play their instruments and clearly gelled as a band. Such a shame they didn’t build on a pair of high-class singles though it’s a very solid piece of work.
Top Rated Tracks: Edge of a Broken Heart, Cryin’, American Dream
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.68000
201. Zodiac Mindwarp & The Love Reaction - Tattooed Beat Messiah (1988)
Mark: Was Zodiac Mindwarp a Spinal Tap joke for the then-modern age? Or a persona created with rock stardom as the goal? Only Zodiac’s alter ego Mark Manning knows for sure. But what is certain is that for all its fun, it manages to be neither.
Richard:
Steve:
Top Rated Tracks: Tattooed Beat Messiah, Let’s Break the Law, Skull Spark Joker
Enter Sadmen Rating: 6.68788